Had to go to the bank and the grocery today...the air was so cold and the bright sunshine hiding. Gage and I scurried and hurried in and out of the stores, then settled in for our drive home.
We drove home through Cecilia. Usually we go the other way...it is faster, but it isn't as scenic. Gage likes to look for tractors, and there are several farms on that route. The fields are now brown and muddy, farmers are feeding hay. We saw several cows, goats grazing and a few horses, too. Of course, that made Gage's day...to see the animals running in the crisp air.
We drove past where my maternal grandparent's lived. They didn't have a farm house, but a little square brick home. It still looks nice and neat. But it has changed so much. No longer are there climbing rose bushes that grew on each end of the front porch. There isn't a porch swing rocking in the wind. Those green awnings are no longer over the windows. There isn't a fishing boat in the building. There isn't a Mamaw and Papaw there either.
On Sundays when I was growing up, it was the place we would go after church. All mom's family would gather there. I remember my mom, Mamaw and aunts cooking and the men talking in the living room - or sleeping on those vinyl couches. We kids would play in the basement and fight over the GRIT newspaper. Downstairs, Mamaw had a box of old hats that thrilled me. There were also pictures. Lots of pictures; on the walls and in boxes. I loved looking through them and wish I had just a few of to remember the family by.
Mamaw had a tin breadbox that always had sandwich creme cookies and suckers. We kids knew we didn't have to ask for some, just help ourselves. My cousins were all older than I - their lives always going in another direction. I haven't stayed close with any of them. Life happened. Pettiness raised it's ugly head and instead of enjoying each other's company, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces and nephews forgot the love that once knit us all together. Mamaw and Papaw would be sad to know their family isn't what it once was. I miss days of hearing my mom and aunts wiping tears of laughter as they recalled silly events.
I guess that's the reason I let things slide since I have become an adult. I don't nurse hard feelings. I don't give jealousy and envy a parking spot in my heart. There is no such thing as a "big I" and a "little you" in my life. I can agree to disagree. I let hard feelings go and even though I can't forget because I am human, I can forgive. I will be your friend, your family until you tell me not to be.
Gage has cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. I am teaching him to love them. Unconditionally. No matter what. Teaching him that we all have bad days that need to be overlooked. Teaching him that we will have differences and be different, but that doesn't mean that we are better off without them. Teaching him that there is no such thing as harboring ill feelings and angry thoughts - they are poisons that will eventually make hearts hard and ugly. We need our extended families. They teach us to be tolerant, to understand, to realize we are all different, but we can still have love. We can still have each other's hearts. The world is too big to not have our families in our corner of the ring.
I don't want to go back to the way things used to be. I want things to be the way they are now. Looking at life through they eyes of a 6 year old boy. I am thankful Gage is full of love and full of sauce. I am thankful he is taking my advice and is learning to love, tolerate and respect, yet be his own individual. I am thankful God gave me a soft heart to give to my son. And I thankful to know that even though I am way far from perfect, that I have been blessed with love. For that is the greatest commandment of all, that we love one another.
Mark 12:31
And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.
John 15:13
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
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