New Year's Eve...

I know that I am getting older. My eyes are so tired and I am contemplating on sliding down into my bed instead of being propped up against the headboard. It's New Year's Eve, and 2012 is lurking right around the next few ticks of the clock.

When I was young, our New Year's Eves were spent at Church - we'd have a long service with usually visitors from other congregations, singing, visiting and praying in the New Year. Our congregation doesn't do this any longer. Instead, we are at home; I have tucked my 6 yr old son into bed, read his two bedtime stories, and we said our nightly prayers. I have a full, thankful heart...running over and filling up my life with the love God has blessed us with.

At the end of 2011, I can reflect back to the monumental times in our family's life...and it's been good. I realize I've developed into different person now. I am 41...married with a child. No longer is there any symbol whatsoever of a young person. I am a mature woman. Capable of making my own decisions. Standing on my own. Answering only to God and myself...and most of the time to my hubby :) 

This past year, I have learned so much about myself.

I am capable of handing adversity.

I have learned to say "no" just a bit more often.

I have learned that what others think about me does not have to effect how I perceive myself.

I have leaned that I CAN put myself first and not everyone else.

It's ok that I take a nap while Gage is at school.

It's ok if I want to go meet Jason for lunch at the last minute; to jump in the truck with him and ride to Owensboro and back - when there is a mountain of laundry and wedding pictures to edit.

It's ok to drive to school and pick Gage up and go for french fries at McDonald's just because.

I can forgive myself for my mistakes...there is no sense beating myself up over them. Everyone else has forgotten about it, so why can't I?!

I am not a perfect mother. Will never be. But I will be the best mother I can be.

I will never have enough patience. I am a very laid-back, easy going person, but I pray for patience every day.

I will never have brown hair again. It's turning silver very quickly nowadays.

I cannot be the perfect wife. There is no such thing.
However, I do know that I love my husband so much.
He and I have been through alot in the past 12 years together/10 years of marriage.
We've been scared.
We've been weary.
We've been at our wit's end with each other.
We have had words.
We have pointed fingers.
We have loved each other.
We are happy.
I can't be without him and he says he can't be without me.
We promised for better and for worse, in front of God and everybody. Separation has never been an option.
He's the person who makes me better.
He knows me, understands my moods, bolsters me.
God knew what he was doing when he put Jason in my life. Talk about opposites attracting...whee!

Yes, I am an old woman now. Gage told me so. His reasoning: "Well, mom, you are a woman. And you are old. That makes you an old woman".

I remember when I thought 41 was old. One foot in the grave, one foot on a banana peel old. It's ok with me now that the tables are now being turned.

I'll enjoy being an old woman in 2012.

I'll enjoy seeing my son turn 7 and complete first grade and move on to second.

I'll enjoy celebrating my 42nd birthday and our 11th anniversary.

I'll enjoy talking with my friends and rekindling old friendships. I'll enjoy making new friends.

I'll try the hardest to be the best old woman God will shape me to be.

Because I think I am finally grown up. That's what being "old" is. And I like it.

Happy 2012!

After Christmas...

This pic is from a couple Christmas seasons ago, but is still my all time favorite! 

My nieces and nephews on my side of the family.

Kiddos from Jason's side of the family from last year. They are all growing up so very fast!! 

There will be a new great-grandbaby next Christmas...

Congrats Andrew and Katie, looking forward to taking lots of new pictures!!

Wow!! It has been way too long since I've entered a post on here. I am going to have to do better keeping up with myself.

The past few months have been so very busy. My sister, Vonda and I have started a new business, with the help of our sister in law, Kim. We are the proud owners of the Polka Dot Alligator Children's Consignment LLC. We offer seasonal consignment sales in the Leitchfield area. www.polkadotalligator.com

Our first three day sale will be March 29-31 at the Centre on Main in Leitchfield, KY. We are super excited and hope to see everyone come shop and sell with us. Contact us and we will be glad to help you get started!! I look forward to making new friends! We are also on facebook, so please like our page so you can keep up with all our "goings-on"!! We will be consigning and selling all things child related - furniture, equipment such as strollers, bouncy seats, high chairs, toys, room decor, bedding, clothing and shoes. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Polka-Dot-Alligator-Childrens-Consignment-LLC/300696939964319

I have also been a bit busy with Christmas pictures, and am now enjoying some time off from the editing screen. Hopefully the new year will see a boom in activity! I like to keep my work load light enough to enjoy what I do and have time to spend with my hubby and boy.

 Photo card I created for my mom for Christmas this year.

We had a great Christmas. As usual, I think we sorta overdid it where Gage was concerned, but he is our only child, and is so easy to buy for...especially when all he wanted was trucks from TSC and Rural King. He also got a farm/grain bin set-up that has taken over his bedroom floor. He goes back to school next Tuesday, January 3. Doesn't seem possible that the year is all but over and first grade is in full swing.

All three members of my family have been sick this past month. I have been sick since the Thanksgiving school break with bronchitis that has refused to leave. I was at my third doctor's appointment yesterday. She hit me hard with meds and shots, so maybe I can get it on the run. Jason has an ear infection and ear ache, along with chest/respiratory congestion. We sound like a pack of barking dogs.

Gage has had pneumonia and a double ear infection. He has missed several days of school and we have missed more church than in forever...seems like one of us is always sick anymore. I am missing my Sunday School kiddos... and their wisdom. HA!! I asked them the other day what would happen if they grew up to be "evil" people. (They like the word "evil" - it sounds more ominous that just "bad".) The girls' eyes just got huge, and the boys piped with things like "go live with the devil", "get poked with a pitch fork and get my hair pulled" and my nephew...who has cornered his own brand of reasoning said the devil would made everyone "eat hot peppers." Love those kids!

Such Great Love....

I walk across the gym floor...the DJ is rolling 50's tunes, the high-walled room is dim, the mood festive, and there he is...smiling at me from across the gym. His eyes are innocent, blue, sparkly and when he sees me, he comes running to me and kisses my hand. My heart swoons...my heart bubbles over with love. I am immediately taken back to that night in December of 1999 when I first opened my door to see such a good looking guy...but this image tonight is his son, my son. The second love of my life. The image of his daddy.

The elementary school's sock hop and hot dog night is underway and my Kindergartner celebrates sheer excitement by running around and around and around the gym. He is so handsome. He is still young enough to enjoy being with his friends and enjoy being with his mommy while in the company of his friends. In fact, his little "buddies" as he calls them, even wave at me and say "hi Gage's mom!".

What did I do to deserve such a prince, who lays by me with his arm around my neck while I read to him; who squeezes my face with his little hands before he kisses my forehead; who holds the door open for me and proclaims "ladies first"; who tells me for no reason "I love you, Mom"; and who thinks I can glue anything back together to make it new again? What did I do - I became a mom.

As always, whenever I am privileged to be in the presence of children, I have so much trouble understanding the cruelty some adults display toward the children in their lives. Oh, those little clones of ourselves can be the most trying, most obnoxious, most stressful parts of our existence. However, whether they be biological, adopted, fostered or just in our care for the evening, those children will reflect to others the love and compassion they are shown. Men and women across the globe grieve for the children they do not have, while yet other men and women have the richest gift of all and ignore it. Or even worse...they push a child's love away.

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15.13 KJV
If we as humans, are capable of giving our lives for our FRIENDS, what even greater love has God given  us for our own CHILDREN?! In fact, it is our duty to love our children, to rear our children, teach our children, make them valuable members of society. I am not, I will not ever be perfect. I will never be the Wonder Mom or receive the Mom of the Year Award. However, I will always love my young son, who looks just like my husband and his daddy. I am Gage's Mommy. Oh, what an honor.

Mud, Glorious Mud...

Mud, mud everywhere - look where we can play!! Gage and his cousin, Justin, are outside playing in the mud. The entrance to the basement is somewhat unfinished and there is a low spot that holds water. It is an aggravation to me, something I gripe about a bit.

However, two boys with two sticks are having great time. "Let's go look for more rocks in the river. Here are some big ones." They came to the door a moment ago, Justin with a scratched finger (from trying to haul around the cat) and Gage following behind him telling me all about it. They were "hunting rabbits" and the cat was a handy substitute. That orange tomcat will have nightmares of two wild boys chasing him with their plastic pistols. I made them strip off their pants at the front door, then washed four little, very dirty hands. I bandaged Justin's pinky finger and wiped mud off of Gage's nose. They stayed in for all of about 10 minutes and back out they went again.

The windows are up (we are enjoying 60 degree weather in February) and I can hear them...they now have their shovels and are scooping rocks up out of the driveway and loading their Tonka dumptrucks and the red wagon. I am afraid to look out and see where the unloading zone is! They have tried to wash my truck (until Momma went on the rampage) and  "drove the tractor" to the neighbor's field to feed the cows. A mired-up bicycle stands to testify of their endeavors. An imagination can go a long way when a 4 and 5 year old are together. They are completely covered in mud...from head to toe. But they are happy, and I guess that's all that matters.

So thankful they have each other...Gage loves a playmate and he can roll and tumble with the best, and they do roll and tumble. Now, since I hear them on the porch, am going on a cleaning mission....wish me luck!

Valentines...

My Sunday School little ones with their Moses coloring sheets...when asked this morning what Valentines Day was about, they said "pink hearts" and "loving each other". Sounds like they have a good understanding of what's it's all about!

Gage has loads of love for his friends and family. I believe it is partly because he is an only child, and does feel lonesome sometimes. The Good Lord knew what he was doing when he gave me just one little boy. But He also knew what he was doing when he gave me nieces and nephews! One little guy fits our lifestyle just perfectly...not to say if we were surprised with another blessing we would be unhappy! However, at 40, I'm so satisfied with blessings God has given me.

Before Gage began Kindergarten, I was looking forward to doing my grocery shopping and things without a permanent sidekick. After he started school, I found out I was waiting until he was home to go into town and waited for him to help me clean his room. I was lonesome without him, without his chatter and his loud thumping and bumping. I had to learn how to entertain myself all over again. It wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, at all! I am finally adjusting to him being away from me after five years of sticking to my side. However, as my six year old niece told Gage with confidence "You'll always be your Momma's baby, won't you?" He will always be my baby. Just as she'll always be her Momma's baby. The hugs will only get sweeter, the love will only grow deeper and Valentine's Day will become better every year. In fact, I believe I am privileged to have Valentine's Day all 365 days of the year!

The thought that counts...

Mrs Thomas and Mrs Stephanie will be proud...This is the note I received from Gage while I was sick a few days back. I could hear him sounding out words, but didn't know exactly what he was doing. I bragged on him and of course, gave him many hugs and kisses. A few days later, I had to tell him "I hope you feel better" when he battled the nasty stomach bug. He ended up being ill off and on for 10 days with that icky stuff and missed two days of school along with one snow/vacation day throwing up. Poor child - I felt so sorry for him and his little pale face and dark eyes. Gage has lots of empathy, and loves to write get well wishes and thank you cards. Whenever someone gives him something, he'll say "I need to write a thank you note, don't I?".
He is always thankful for everything, no matter how small, and I hope he always will be. A gift is never too small to be unappreciated.

I could have received a large, expensive gift, bouquets of flowers and fancy cards, and I could not have enjoyed them more than the penciled words on a green post-it note written by my five year old son. It truly IS the thought that counts!

Thinking....

We have had a long day. It's after midnight as I am writing this, and both hubby, boy and dog are sleeping soundly with a snore here and there.

We drove up to Bass Pro Shop today and then stopped by to see my Mom and Tom. On the way back, it was dark, Jason slept and I drove. Gage chattered all the way home, except for the few minutes he played his V-tech game. We were almost home when he all of a sudden fell quiet. I asked if he was ok, and he said "Yes, I am just thinking". About what? "I haven't decided yet."

The mind of a child...what a wonderful thing! He surprised us today several times with his vast knowledge. It all had the innocence twist of a 5 year old, but as usual he's too smart for his own good.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day for my Sunday School kiddos. Should be a fun day - then home to help Gage finish addressing his Valentines for classmates in his Kindergarten class. He loves all his classmates; and a few of the girls hold special places in his young heart.

This is Heaven...

Several snow days lately have spoiled Gage. He loves to stay home in the early mornings and play with his little cars, trucks and tractors while in his pj's. After looking out the window at the swirly snow, he said "Mom, I wish we had a fireplace, so we could sit in front of the fire to stay warm and drink hot chocolate." He then proceeds to tell me how he is going to rearrange the furniture so he can "build a fireplace right over there in that corner".

On one of the days "vacationing" from his school duties, Gage and I, along with my sister and her children took a trip to Chick-fil-a to eat and play. Gage and his cousin Justin were so excited to be there...they bounced up and down in the seat, talked continuously, and longingly looked at the play area, encased in the thick, sound proof glass. The slide beckoned...the little white car called their names...the tunnel and brightly colored steps made their little fingers twitch to crawl. In between bites of fries and sips of lemonade and root beer, their little manly conversation explained how they thought the play area had been constructed with  "lots of wrenches and nails", etc.

Finally Gage looked over at me, his eyes shining and said "Mom, that's Heaven." And I guess to a five year old it was. The promise of enjoying the afternoon with his friend/cousin in the brightly colored play area that had been made with "lots of wrenches and nails" was equivalent to a street of gold.

And as I watched him climb and jump, healthy, happy and oh, so handsome I had to agree. That's Heaven.

In the beginning...

"Mommy, are you chewing on your lip or is that your mean face? I don't like your mean face."
Evidently, I have developed "the look" that makes Gage hesitate! It is so surprising that the one little person in the world who holds my heart can make me so ill-tempered!

My patience can get wafer thin at near the end of the day, and I am reminded that my child watches every move when Gage looks toward the ceiling and repeats what he has heard me say, "Lord, please give me patience!". He, like his daddy, is quick to say "I'm sorry", and even quicker to forgive when I tell him that I am sorry for screeching at him.

I am reminded of the passage in the Bible about forgiving seventy times seven...it's easy to expect someone to honor that commandment when it is me asking for the forgiveness. However, when it's someone who has done me wrong, there are times I must remind myself to forgive again and again.

I have learned so much from my little son. Now I know why Jesus loved the little children so...they see everything so simple. No hidden agendas, no sweeping it under the rug or sugar coating it...just call it like they see it. And it is that simple honesty that I have learned from Gage that gives me a fresh daily outlook.

So I am taking off my "mean face", asking the Lord for patience, and am going to persuade Gage that it is time to crawl into bed. School will come early in the morning - for both of us. He never fails to help me learn a new love every day!

Mommy to a Little Boy...

I am one of the most blessed women in the world. I am a mommy.

I have a wonderful husband who is supportive and loves me (even though I am a smidgen fatter than I used to be - hehehe) and a happy, bouncing, lively, talkative, imaginative little boy.

Gage is in Kindergarten...loving his time at school and having fun growing up most of the time. He is trying to find his place in the world, and at times it is a rough road for him, Jason and I.

He has such a vocabulary; I guess it is from the many hours we have spent reading books until my tongue was numb! Put a vast knowledge of words and a vivid imagination together and the result is sometimes stunning!

Many of my friends ask daily "What has Gage been saying lately?". So, I decided to document parts of our lives and share Gage's insight and wonderment of the world.